My Baby Mama

Check out my wonderful wife's blog. Big news on the parenting front!

We're having a...

He's Here!

Dianna and I are glad to announce the birth of our firstborn son, Joshua Thomas Culbertson. Weighing in at 7 lbs. 15 oz., our little boy was born at 9:29 on Tuesday morning. Thankfully, he's got Dianna's good looks! The only thing I contributed was the last name (and the Y chromosome). When we got to the hospital at 9:30 Monday night Dianna was about 6cm dilated. They got her in, gave her the epidural, and the waiting began.

You should have seen my excellent wife throughout this process. Not one scream. Not one unkind word. She was amazing! I definitely have a new hero... and a new love!

Motherhood

As you can imagine, maternity has been a big topic around the Culbertson household. Dianna is constantly reading about being a mama. She's read books like Baby Wise, What to Expect When You Are Expecting, What to Do When You're Puking, and What to Expect from Your Husband When You're Expecting. She's read magazine article after magazine article telling her to lay on her left side, eat saltine crackers, buy a giant pillow, and to not take out the cat litter.

But Dianna isn't the only mama around the house. Our outside cat, Miss Madison, is now the proud mother of 4. Let me take this opportunity to tell you the story of Miss Madison...

When Dianna moved into the house last summer, this little calico cat started hanging around the house. It looked like it was starving. We tried to get rid of her, but she kept coming back, so we started feeding her. It's my understanding that once you feed a cat, it's yours. Well, we fed her for the next 3 months.
Then, one cool, rainy night in the Fall, we hear a knock at the door. I opened the door, to find our neighbor, "Mrs. Smith." Mrs. Smith is in her 70s, and I had visited with her a few times. She is a disgruntled former member of our church, which meant my visits with her consisted of her listing the millions of things wrong with our congregation. She left years ago due to some silly 'conflict' with a former preacher. So she's standing at my door, in the rain, with Miss Madison in her hands. The conversation proceeded as follows:
Her: "Hi. I'm Mrs. Smith"
My Thought: "I was at your house last week, I know who you are."
Her: "I've come to get my cat, Rascal."
My Thought: "RASCAL?? What a stupid name."
Me: "Oh, okay. We considered her our cat."
Her: "Well, if you had been out here when I came up, you would have seen how she recognized me."
My Thought: "Is this old lady really about to take our cat?"
Me: "I see."
Her: "If you wouldn't put food out for her, she wouldn't come over here. She's been a bad kitty. She had some kittens and then ran off and left them. She's a bad mommy."
Me: "Oh. We didn't know that."
My Thought: "Lady, you've got 50 cats, how did you even realize this one was missing?!"
Her: "Well, I better get her home. Just don't put any food out for her anymore."
My Thought: "She's doing it. She's stealing our cat. That old shrew is stealing our cat. The nerve!"
Me: "Yes ma'am. Have a good night."
*Que the Wicked Witch of the West theme music*

I turn around from the door to find Dianna sitting there weeping. It was at this moment that I wished all my thoughts had been my words. I really was floored that this woman who already had 50 cats would come to our house at night, in the cold, in the rain and take our cat! But I couldn't start a fight with this lady over a cat.

I should mention that Mrs. Smith's backyard is basically attached to our backyard, so Miss Madison (or Rascal...again, what a stupid name...) was back at our house within 2 hours. The cat stayed with us, and has lived happily ever after. THE END.

Mrs. Smith says that Miss Madison was a "bad mommy," but I have evidence that she is a great mother:

The custody of the kittens has yet to be determined.

We're Having A...

Dianna & I went to the hospital today for the ultrasound. At first, the black and white blob made absolutely no sense, but the technician (who was a really nice Christian lady) explained it all. After about 1 minute on the screen, she spotted something that looked like a lima bean with something sticking out of it. Apparently, that meant it was a...

BOY!!

Upon hearing this news, I placed both arms in the air, fists clinched, in a sign of "Victory!" My prayers for a firstborn son have been answered, and we are absolutely thrilled! The ultrasound showed more than private parts, though. We saw his face (he was sucking his thumb), his little feet (Dianna's favorite part), and he even mooned us a few times.

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Now, we just need help picking a name. Had it been a girl, we had a great name picked out, but the boy names have been a debate for us. Give us your preference:

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FULL NAME / CALLED NAME

a) Joshua Thomas Culbertson / Joshua Thomas or Thomas

b) Joshua Ethan Culbertson / Ethan

c) Joshua Eli Culbertson / Eli

d) Joshua Luke Culbertson / Luke

e) Jimmy Dean Culbertson / "Bubba"

I'll keep you posted on the final decision.

Father Josh

Don't worry. I haven't joined the Roman Catholic Priesthood. I'm going to be a father! Yes, just 3 months into our first blissful year of marriage, and Dianna and I are expecting. We're really excited. But I'm still trying to picture myself as a father. I need your help.

In your opinion, which of the following dads will I be most like?

Frank Barone, the Cranky Dad

Ward Cleaver, the All-Knowing Dad

Cliff Huxtable, the Hillarious Dad

Archie Bunker, the Clueless Dad