Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Top Ten Things I Missed About the Palmetto State

10. Bi-Lo - The name fits.

9. Hash - Beef or pork cooked in black kettles all night long. Add a little butter, onions, vinegar, & mustard-based BBQ, serve over rice or white bread, and you're ready for a July 4th celebration! Check your local Lion's Club or Baptist Men's group for details.

8. Bojangles - The seasoned fries are better than ever!

7. Southern Accents - Down here, we just talk different. We don't own a garden hose; we own a hose pipe. We don't press buttons, we mash 'em. We understand that the English language does have a plural form of you... y'all. We might could stop talking like this, but then we'd be just like them boring Yankees!

6. Friendly Folks - "How you?" "Fine, you?" I had that conversation with almost everyone at the grocery store on Monday.

5. Dukes Mayonnaise - Stir a little in your mashed potatoes and taste the difference.

4. Black People - Indiana has a black population of like 10 people. Our black neighbors help make Southern culture what it is. I missed y'all!

3. Mustard-based BBQ - Nothing could be finer (especially Maurice's). Throw in a couple of hush puppies on the side and you've got some good eatin'.

2. Kinfolk - My family has been in SC since the 1700's. I belong here.

1. State Pride - We all love South Carolina. If you don't believe it, just ask us or notice the tons of SC paraphernalia on our cars! And with a list like this, how could we not be proud of our home state?

I leave you with a Confederate campfire song (to the tune of "At the Cross").

Take me home to the place where I first saw the light,
to the sweet sunny South take me home,
where the mockingbird sang me to rest every night.
Oh! Why was I tempted to roam?

9 comments:

The Lindholms said...

Congratulations! You made it back! Loved your list. I really miss all of those things, too . . . except Duke's, but that's just my personal abnormality. Maybe we'll see you during our visit to Dixie at the end of June/beginning of July?
- LA

Jarod said...

Josh,
I am disappointed that Bi-Lo made it on your top missed list. I thought you would remember from my numerous Publix conversations that there is no other grocery store...lol Glad to have you back!

Chris said...

Must be nice...

WEEEEO said...

dude i think it is amazing that you are back and when i get back, we need to hit up classic cafe. Ill drive, heck i will even buy! I admit i am a little surprised that it did not make the top ten but its all good. However, I can not comprehend why the corn nugget element was not included in the top ten. After all those weeks of your ranting my freshman year, my conversion into the "corn nugget club", and my personal realization of the glory of the "corn nugget" ...oh well. maybe an honorary inclusion of the corn nugget is appropriate.
PS - did you get my email with the "for old times sake link"?...thought you would enjoy.

Josh Culbertson said...

Reo, you're right. Honorary mention goes to the corn nugget, the finest use of a deep fryer known unto man.

Jarod, I love Publix, but I'm just too poor for it. Thus, Bi-Lo.

Leigh Ann, you don't like Dukes! That's okay... I don't like grits (don't tell anyone!).

Chris, get over it.

Denny said...

Haven't checked out your blog in a while.It was FUN catching up on it! The list on Georgia can't be explained in only 10,takes a LOT more..FIL

Chris said...

Give me about 46 days....I'm sure I'll be over it then.

amy lynn said...

ok, i just had a conversation maybe two weeks ago with a fellow South Carolinian at church where we discussed # 1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 10... so I back up your list and state there are many others that share you list of things they pine for from SC. Thankfully I stocked up on Dukes... so I think I'll make it till the move. But what I would give for some hash...

Joy Culbertson said...

YES YES! love the list. I had some hash today in Simpsonville at lunch and someone commented "hash is something you have to grow up on"- she was from Michigan. I even got to show them the proper technique of using the loaf bread to "sop up" the juice. Glad y'all are back in ole SC!